


Switched

by LOTSlover



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: Crack, F/M, One Shot, Squee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 23:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/301069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LOTSlover/pseuds/LOTSlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magic is to blame when Team Seeker runs into trouble.</p><p>
  <b>2012 LotSeekerFic Awards: Third Place for Best Crackfic/Humor</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Switched

**Author's Note:**

> Set immediately at the end of Tears (S2)

“No, don’t touch it!”

Hearing Zedd’s cry, Richard spun on his heel in time to see Cara reach out to touch something in Kahlan’s hand. A brilliant light suddenly erupted from the object, bathing the Pillars of Creation in a blinding glow.

“Kahlan!” Richard screamed, shielding his eyes.

As the light subsided and his vision returned, Richard saw Kahlan and Cara both lying on the ground, neither moving. His heart seized in his chest as he ran to her, falling on his knees at her side and taking her face in his hands.

“Kahlan,” he called her name, afraid to breathe for fear he had lost her. He cast a quick glance over his shoulder, finding Zedd leaning over Cara who was in much the same state as Kahlan.

Glancing back down at his Confessor, he found her eyes beginning to flutter open. The site of her beautiful blue orbs staring back up at him was the most wonderful thing in the world at that moment.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice thick with worry as he gently brushed her hair from her forehead.

“I…I think so…” she murmured, looking around at her surroundings.

“Easy,” Richard admonished as he crouched beside her, grabbing hold of her upper arm to steady her as she sat up.

“Are you alright, my dear?” Zedd asked the Mord’Sith who was beginning to come around as well.

“Yes…I’m fine…” she mumbled groggily as she held her head.

“Kahlan, are you sure you’re alright?” Richard questioned her, unconvinced.

“I think Zedd needs to check your eyes again,” the Mother Confessor said. “I’m Cara.”

“I can see just fine and you’re Kahlan,” the Seeker insisted with a frown as he helped her to her feet.

Richard stared at the raven-haired woman before him, his eyes roaming over her, taking in her every perfect feature. She looked exactly like his Kahlan, had the same beautiful voice just like his Confessor. He quickly looked over at the Mord’Sith standing beside Zedd, his mind trying to wrap itself around what was happening here.

“Richard, I’m over here,” the Mord’Sith insisted as she rubbed her forehead.

“Zedd, what is going on?” Richard heatedly demanded, his heart beginning to pound.

The old Wizard sighed deeply as he bent over to pick up the crystal lying forgotten on the ground. “Bags! I feared that this was what was going to happen.”

“What is it?” Richard repeated, emphasizing his every word as he took Kahlan’s hand in his, clutching it tightly.

“I’m afraid that Kahlan and Cara found a magical crystal that causes two people to switch bodies. In essence, Kahlan is now in Cara’s body and Cara is in Kahlan’s.”

“That…that can’t be true…” Kahlan protested, shaking her head in shock as she looked down at herself.

Her hands began to tremble as she ran her fingers over the red leather that covered her body. This couldn’t be happening, not now. She and Richard had just discovered that they could be together in every possible way, their dreams at last coming true.

Looking up, Kahlan and Cara’s eyes locked in that exact moment, each trying to grasp what had happened to them. Kahlan cursed under her breath, wishing that she had never seen that damned crystal that she had found lying safely protected beneath some of the rubble.

If only she hadn’t picked it up…if only she hadn’t shown it to Cara…if only…

“Fix this now, Zedd,” Richard growled, his chest tightening with fear.

This was not how it was supposed to be. He should be holding Kahlan, making love to her like he had fantasized for so agonizingly long, asking her to be his wife. Now, he was looking at his beloved only to find his friend inside of her instead.

“It’s not that easy, my boy,” he reluctantly informed them as he shook his head, his wiry eyebrows knitted tightly together in thought.

“You have to do something, Zedd!” the Mord’Sith cried, grabbing hold of the sleeve of his robe.

Richard’s head was spinning as his gaze shifted from Kahlan to Cara and back again. Each one sounded and looked exactly like themselves, but the mannerisms that were unique to each of them were now switched. It was unsettling to say the least.

He wanted to hold Kahlan, but she wasn’t really Kahlan. He would be comforting Cara. Holding Cara in his arms was just too awkward for words. Not knowing what to do, he quickly released the Mother Confessor’s hand, not wanting to touch her until this was straightened out.

The Confessor smirked as Richard let her hand fall free from his grasp, the obvious discomfort with the situation plainly written on his face. She wasn’t feeling very happy with the whole thing herself.

“Don’t fear, my child,” Zedd soothed, taking the Mord’Sith’s hand in his. “There is a way to fix this. We just have to find the other crystal first.”

“What other crystal?” Richard practically shouted louder than he had intended to. Drawing a deep breath, he raked his fingers back through his long hair in an attempt to pull himself back together. “Where is this other crystal?” he asked more calmly this time.

“Well, hopefully it’s still around here somewhere,” the old Wizard replied, tapping his forefinger against his lip as he began scanning their surroundings. “That is unless, of course, it’s been stolen.”

The Mord’Sith threw up her hands in irritation, tears threatening to form in her eyes. The rift was sealed, the Keeper forever banished to the Underworld, and she and Richard could finally make love – except for the fact that she was now walking around inside Cara’s body.

“Kahlan, it’ll be alright. I promise,” Richard quickly said, walking towards the Mord’Sith. Gripping her by the shoulders, he forced her to look at him. It was disconcerting to gaze into green eyes and call her Kahlan. “We will find the other crystal and make this right again. And then you and I will be together just like we’ve always wanted.”

“This is my fault,” she murmured, her chin falling. “I’m so sorry, Richard. I’ve ruined everything.”

“It’s nobody’s fault, Kahlan. It was just an accident.”

“We could be making love right now. Instead, I…I look like this,” she bitterly replied, her arms sweeping out to her sides.

“There is nothing wrong with the way you look!” the Confessor retorted, coming to stand behind the Seeker as she folded her arms across her chest. “In fact, I think that you’ve never looked better.”

“Cara…” Richard angrily snapped. “Go help Zedd find the other crystal. It has to be around here somewhere.”

“I was just complimenting her,” the Confessor mumbled as she stormed away.

Hooking her blond hair behind her ear, Richard smiled softly at her. “As soon as this is fixed, I promise I will make love to you over and over again.”

Leaning in, Richard kissed her lightly on the forehead. The Mord’Sith tilted her head, desperate to kiss him. The Seeker paused only to suddenly pull back.

“I’m sorry, Kahlan,” he shook his head with regret. “I love you more than my own life and would do anything in this world for you, but I cannot kiss you while you look like Cara. It’s just too disturbing.”

“I understand,” the Mord’Sith softly replied with a sigh, fighting to keep the hurt from her voice.

Richard could see the hurt in her face, the face that was Cara’s and yet he couldn’t help but notice a hint of Kahlan in the expression. His soul-mate was truly in another woman’s body. It sent an eerie chill shivering through him.

He didn’t know if he could go another night without making Kahlan his, but he was certainly not going to make love to her while she was in Cara’s body. The thought made him ill.

He knew that he had to fix this and had to fix this now.

XXX

Entering camp with another armload of wood, Richard’s attention was quickly captured by the site of Kahlan leaning over the small campfire. The curve of her breasts, the dip in between where he’d spent so much time dreaming of kissing her caused his pulse to quicken.

He allowed his gaze to drift lower over her thighs peeking through the delicious slits in her skirt. He felt his throat go dry with the thoughts that began to race through his mind of what he was dying to do to her.

Kahlan was finally his to have in every way forever.

The Mother Confessor looked up to see the Seeker standing at the edge of the campsite staring at her. She smiled some sinful smile and Richard thought for sure he was going to faint.

“I’m still Cara,” she reminded him, noticing the lust that permeated his eyes.

Richard squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to tamp down on the arousal pounding through his veins. He mentally shook himself, angry for allowing his thoughts to wander when Kahlan was in serious trouble right now.

But the knowledge that they could now consummate their love only served to heighten his need, driving his desire even higher than ever before. His body was begging for release, his pent up need seeking the one woman who owned him heart and soul.

“Here, it’s your turn to cook dinner,” the Mord’Sith said, handing the stew pot to the Mother Confessor.

“Technically, it’s your turn seeing how you’re now me and I’m you,” the Confessor replied with a smirk.

“Cara, I’m not in the mood,” the Mord’Sith growled. “I don’t know how you can find this so amusing.”

“I’m not at all happy about this, but there’s nothing we can do about it until Zedd switches us back,” the Confessor said with a shrug of her shoulder. “I have no idea how you walk around in these boots and this skirt. This hair is way too long,” she commented, flipping it over her shoulder. “And what about…”

“Cara, just start dinner,” Richard interrupted, noticing the growing anger on the Mord’Sith’s face.

Shoving the stew pot at the Confessor, the Mord’Sith turned on her heel and walked away. Richard watched at the Mother Confessor rolled her eyes in that very characteristic way that Cara always had. It was odd to see that same flippant expression on Kahlan’s face.

Kneeling down on the ground, the Mord’Sith opened up her pack, pulling out her bedroll. She was angry with herself, upset with the whole situation, and frustrated that once again her and Richard were put on hold. Exhaustion clung to every fiber of her being. She just wanted to go to sleep and wake up in the morning to find that this had all been a very bad nightmare.

“That’s my pack, you know!” the Mother Confessor called out as she began making dinner.

“Cara!” Richard yelled as he made his way to the Mord’Sith.

“I was just making an observation,” the Confessor grumbled under her breath.

Kneeling down beside her, Richard wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him. The Mord’Sith willingly went with him, tears brimming in her eyes. The feel of him so close, the woodsy scent that was so Richard was driving her wild. She ached to kiss him, for him to make love to her.

“I’m sorry, Kahlan,” he murmured, pressing his lips into her hair. “I know how frustrating this is and Cara isn’t helping things.”

“I just really thought we would have found the crystal by now,” she softly replied, wiping her eyes.

Richard had to force himself to stroke her hair, to pull her closer. Everything about her was all Cara except for the tone of her voice and the softness that suddenly encompassed her. This was not his Kahlan, but he knew that she was in there and that she needed him now.

Pushing aside the awkwardness of the whole situation, he drew a deep breath, gathering the courage to utter the words that he had been desperate to say to her for so very long now.

“When you’re Kahlan again, I’m going to ask you to marry me,” he told her, a smile tugging at his lips. He had wanted to wait until the perfect moment to ask her, but she needed something to hold onto right now, something to lift her spirits. “So, when the time comes you better have the answer I’m dying to hear.”

“Richard,” she whispered with tears shining in her eyes as she turned to look at him, her hands finding his face.

He felt his heart sink as he stared into the face of another woman, knowing that his Kahlan wasn’t herself. But she soon would be because he would not stop until this was resolved.

Unable to bear the thought of kissing another woman, Richard pressed his forehead to hers. “Come, let’s finish setting up camp so we can get some sleep. We’ll start looking again first thing in the morning.”

“I love you, Richard,” she softly said, heartbroken that she couldn’t kiss him and yet touched that he couldn’t bring himself to kiss a woman who was not truly her in every way.

“I love you too, Kahlan,” he replied as he helped her to her feet. “I will find a way to fix this. And when I do, you had better be prepared to be ravished.”

The look of heated desire that filled his dark brown eyes sent shivers up her spine. She wanted him so desperately, but it would have to wait.

“Well, we didn’t find it yet but that doesn’t mean that the other crystal still isn’t here somewhere,” Zedd announced as he entered from the other side of their camp. Settling down by the fire, the old Wizard grabbed a bowl and began ladling out some stew. “There is still a lot of ground to cover. The Pillars of Creation is a vast place, but I’m sure we’ll find it one way or another.”

“But what if it’s not here?” the Mord’Sith asked as she came to sit by the fire.

“Then I get to rule the Midlands and marry the Seeker,” the Mother Confessor piped up, wiping her hands on her skirt as she straightened up. Seeing the look of anger flash through Richard’s face, she immediately regretted her words. “I’m just kidding,” she quickly stated before anyone could reply, raising her hands defensively before her.

Richard shot her a look that told her that she had better back off as he handed the Mord’Sith a bowl of stew. They were not in the mood for jokes right now.

“I’m not hungry,” the Mord’Sith said, shaking her head as she pushed the bowl away.

“Cara…I mean Kahlan, you have to eat something,” Richard insisted as he tried to hand it back to her, annoyed with himself for calling her by the wrong name. It was so hard to look at the Mord’Sith and not call her Cara.

“Later,” she quietly replied. “I’m more tired than anything right now.”

Richard appraised her for a moment, his forehead creased with concern. He could see the toll that this was taking on her even though it wasn’t even really his Kahlan. It was almost as though he could see her inside there when he looked deep into those bright green eyes.

“So, what if the crystal isn’t here?” the Mord’Sith repeated her initial question, fearing the answer.

“Well, I’m not sure,” Zedd thoughtfully replied as he chewed. “I’d have to consult my books at the Wizard’s Keep in Aydindril.”

“Aydindril is over a week away,” the Mord’Sith cried, leaping to her feet. “I have to stay like…like this… for over a week!”

“You could always dye your hair,” the Confessor volunteered as she looked up at her through her eyelashes.

“You are not helping matters, Cara,” Richard sternly reprimanded her, watching her as she rolled her eyes again. “And stop rolling your eyes!”

“It was just a suggestion,” she pouted as she took another bite.

“Forgive me, Cara, if I’m less than thrilled with the thought of walking around looking like some…”

“Kahlan!” Richard interrupted her, knowing exactly what she was about to call Cara.

“There is nothing wrong with the way that I look,” the Confessor retorted with a scowl. “Many men have found great pleasure with my looks. You’re just jealous that you aren’t as tempting as I am.”

“At least I don’t show everything I have to offer,” the Mord’Sith bit out, quirking an eyebrow.

“Stop it you two,” Zedd loudly said. “One way or another, I’ll find a way to put you two back the way that you were.”

“I’m going to go get cleaned up,” the Mord’Sith announced, grabbing her pack before storming away.

“Don’t ruin my leather!” the Confessor called after her.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Richard asked her, his irritated gaze narrowed on her.

The Mother Confessor shrugged her shoulders in that typical Cara way before answering. “There’s nothing we can do about it right now so there’s no use getting all worked up about it.”

Richard ate in silence as Zedd and Cara talked, his heart consumed with worry. He wanted to go to Kahlan, to hold her and talk to her. He wanted to make it all better, but he was helpless right now to fix any of it. All he could do was to be there for her despite the fact she looked like a woman he did not love.

XXX

Unbuckling his sword, Richard looked up to see the Mord’Sith reenter the campsite. He was taken aback, noticing for the first time the way that she walked. So unlike Cara, she now walked with a sense of nobility and grace that was only possessed by Kahlan.

The longer he watched her, the more he saw Kahlan in her every movement. It brought him a sense of relief that she was still there somewhere beneath the form-fitting red leather and blond hair.

“That is not how I wear my hair,” the Confessor stated, stunned to see her blond hair pulled back and secured at the nape of her neck.

“Well, you’re not exactly you anymore, are you?” the Mord’Sith retorted, walking past the Confessor and dropping her pack next to Richard’s bedroll.

Rolling out his bedroll, Richard watched as the Mother Confessor walked towards them, startled to see seductiveness oozing with every step she took. It was so unlike his Kahlan to walk in such a sultry fashion. It was as if someone had taken control of her body. While arousing, it was also very unsettling to see her like this. He wanted her back to the way she was, to the woman he had fallen so deeply in love with.

“Seeing how I’m now you, I guess I get to sleep next to Lord Rahl tonight,” the Confessor brashly claimed with a tilt of her head.

“You are not sleeping anywhere near him,” the Mord’Sith fired back as she came to stand before her.

It was unnerving to stand before herself, to stare into her own eyes, to see herself moving and talking and yet it wasn’t really her. It was beginning to drive her crazy.

“I’m you now so I think that he would want me to sleep next to him, to kiss him goodnight,” she smirked.

“But you’re not really me,” the Mord’Sith snapped.

“Stop it!” Richard interrupted, leaping to his feet. “I’m not sleeping next to either one of you tonight. Kahlan, I love you, but I cannot sleep next to you when you look like Cara.”

“Fine,” the Mord’Sith growled, snatching up her pack and moving to the other side of the campfire.

Sighing in frustration, Richard settled down on his bedroll, watching as the woman he loved spread out her bedroll so far away from him. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. This had better get resolved soon before they all lost their minds.

XXX

“Wake up…”

The sweet seductive sound of her voice created a rush of warmth to slowly wash through him, the feel of her breath against his ear tickling his senses as fingers slowly began to create lazy circles over his chest.

“Time to get up…”

The brush of another voice so familiar filled his mind as well and yet did not seem right at all.

Feeling his arousal awakening below, Richard immediately opened his eyes, sitting bolt upright to find Kahlan and Cara each kneeling on either side of him. They both had devious smiles plastered on their faces, thoroughly enjoying this little game they were playing.

“Good morning,” the Mord’Sith greeted him with a bright smile.

“Morning, Richard,” the Mother Confessor purred in his ear, dipping her tongue inside before kissing it lightly.

“What are you two doing?” he asked, rubbing his hands over his face as he clamped down on his growing arousal. He loved the idea of waking every morning to Kahlan in his arms. Cara, however, was definitely not part of that equation. “Why did you let me sleep so long? We have to find the other crystal.”

“You needed the sleep,” the Mord’Sith shrugged. “Besides, Zedd found the other crystal already.”

“You mean?” he asked, his heart racing as he turned to look at Kahlan.

“Yes, I’m me again,” Kahlan smiled shyly, knowing the deeper meaning behind his question.

Without hesitation, Richard got up, grabbing Kahlan by the hand as well as her green blanket before leading her out of the campsite. “Don’t come looking for us, Cara,” he informed her. We’ll be back eventually.”

Cara shook her head, a smile on her lips as she watched them leave. While she was glad to be back in her own body, she did miss the way that Richard had looked at her when she had been Kahlan. Hopefully someday a man would look at her with the same love in his eyes as Richard had for Kahlan.

 

THE END


End file.
